Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
