Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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