a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize