there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I didn't notice because vodka
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize