Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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