the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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