were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
