Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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