I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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