you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
