I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
