she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
