He told me they were just razor bumps!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
