I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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