Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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