so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
