"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
