you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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