she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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