Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
