Me too!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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