I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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