I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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