Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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