I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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