She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
