what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
