I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
