so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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