I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
