I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
