your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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