Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
