he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
