You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
