I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
