Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
