What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
