Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
