would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
did i just pee glitter
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
