Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
