I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
