I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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