she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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