At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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