if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
