We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
