yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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