wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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