drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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