He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
