so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
