We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
