I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
