Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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