I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
