I heard we made out
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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