Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
