she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
