where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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